Grey Bears' Holiday Dinner: Slowly but Surely

Last Saturday at 11 a.m., Paul and I went to pick up our annual Holiday dinner at the Grey Bears' campus on the other end of Chanticleer.

Compared with the same event two years ago, this year's dinner was not well organized. The location was changed twice, from the Grey Bears lot to the Drive-In and Flea Market lot, and then back to the Bears lot. As a last minute measure, they staffed a Grey Bear volunteer to stand at the gate of the Drive-In to inform and redirect cars, but the wet Bear was either ignored, or all but mowed down by anxious drivers. As a Bear though, he was not easily intimidated, standing firm and tall, repeating the same instruction to every approaching car. Wish he could have had a loudspeaker with a recorded message! 

 

Courtesy of Titangos Photography

Paul managed to make the earliest U-turn possible, against the convoluted given directions. But once at the destination, we were confronted with cars from every directions all heading toward the same lot. Once in the lot, we saw people on foot dashing around in the rain to do their shopping too, for there was a half-price sale going on in a number of the Bear stores. Driving further to the end of the lot, we found ourselves jammed into a small alley, with lines of waiting cars packed three abreast. Two cars at a time from each line were allowed to go forward to the food facility. 

Courtesy of Titangos Photography

A heavily fortified group of Grey Bears greeted us in front of the facility door. In due time, we received our 2022 holiday dinner trays, after our names were checked out by a frail mama Bear who was working furiously through a thick stack of name sheets from A to Z. We thanked them and drove away quickly to let the next car come forward. I could not help but wonder if other Bears could share some sheets from her, with perhaps a few alphabetical lists.

Courtesy of Titangos Photography

We smiled at each other, feeling at once grateful and generously understanding. We got our holiday meals slowly but surely. More often than not, it is easier to work with one system, such as 2020's dinner that was delivered smoothly with military precision during the Covid-19 time. Two years later, we have transitioned to a hybrid time that will inevitably give rise to confusion and inconsistency. When there are too many chiefs in a tiny kitchen, engaged in many projects simultaneously, it will inevitably create a difficult situation, throwing a monkey wrench into the system. The long-waited rain delighted but dismayed many people in Santa Cruz at the same time.

Thank You, Buttery Bakery!

Last Saturday morning, we ordered a carrot cake for Paul's birthday for pick-up the next day, Sunday at 2:30 pm, the shortest turnaround time possible to be ready for our son Nick and granddaughter Leni from Pleasanton to join us then. Two hours later, Nick called us to move their visit time to today, Saturday, because he was on call for his company's system update the next day.

In hope against hope, we called the Buttery to see if we could postpone the cake to next Wednesday, which was Paul's birthday, or ideally, get the cake the same day (today), so two families could enjoy it. Despite the bad cellular connection, the server was totally understanding and supportive by prioritizing our order. We could not believe our ears on hearing that we could pick up our cake in two hours at 4:30 pm, half an hour before closing. "Owing to the limited time, the cake may not have the usual writing," she cautioned us.

Four of us and a memorable early birthday dinner. Afterwards, we proceeded to the cake ceremony by opening the white Buttery box. To our great surprise and delight, we saw "Happy Birthday, Papou Paul!" on the cake. Now we have fully understood why we go the Buttery for our family's birthdays, graduations, and wedding, not only for their exquisite cakes, but more essentially, for their outstanding customer care, and flexible and compassionate services. It is what a community is all about.

Thank you, Buttery Bakery and its staff! 

It Is Official: Lunar New Year Is a State Holiday in California!

Last night, I read from my WeChat class group that California has become the first state to recognize the Lunar New Year as an official state holiday. Via Yahoo! News, I learned more details about Governor Gavin Newsom signing AB 2596 which authorized state employees to observe the Lunar New Year. The reason is twofold: the holiday provides all of us a chance to leave behind the troubles of the past year and greet prosperity and good luck in the new year. It also acknowledges the diversity and culture of Asian Americans to California and lets the whole state celebrate.

Courtesy of https://news.yahoo.com/

I am immensely proud of the State of California to have achieved another FIRST in its long list of FIRSTS to be innovative and original. It is truly refreshing, after years' research on California libraries in the early 20th century. 

I also feel extremely thankful, even though it has brought very few ripple effects where I am. The system I have been working for since 1999 has little knowledge of the Chinese New Year, or Lunar New Year. But my siblings and I celebrate the festival anyway with our families by taking time off to prepare food, writing, and calling each other and overseas relatives. It is a significant and long tradition with valid reasons as the governor has stated above. It is good to be recognized culturally and politically being Asian Americans.

Courtesy of https://news.yahoo.com/

Missing Kumsil

On the late afternoon of August 6, 2022, I was informed that Kumsil had passed away. All of a sudden, I was hit by profound sadness.

Kumsil is the mother of our daughter-in-law. Since our children's marriage, we have only met her and her husband Ray twice, once at the wedding in 2010, and the other, at the announcement of Leni's ultrasound existence in 2014. 

At the beginning, we had tried to keep in close touch by exchanging emails, birthday cards and Christmas gifts. More than once, Kumsil invited us to visit them in San Diego before they sold their big property. While I was staying at Hui's to take care of my mother after her second hip surgery, Kumsil called me every night to chat. Then and there, I was deeply touched and resolved to have her as my new sister. 

Apparently, I did not do a good job in keeping my own promise. Over the years, I had been too preoccupied with my mother's long-term illness, and stress over my own career, to notice people around me, until this summer. There have been many changes happening: friends have retired, nieces and nephew either graduated or married. The third generation are growing up tall while older friends and family members are getting weaker.

Kumsil is one of the latter. Only one month older than I, Kumsil came to this country from Korea to marry her husband Ray. Her arrival was about the same time as mine. In her lifetime, Kumsil had tried to help her family by bringing them here, one after another, to San Diego. With Ray's help, she even managed to provide her three siblings with job opportunities. Being an artistic, sensitive, and fragile woman, Kumsil was well-taken care of by her husband, mother, and sister for decades. She was declining gradually after the departure of her mother, but rapidly after the illness and death of her husband less than two years ago. She did not recover from a succession of tragic losses, even though her widowed sister came back into her life again. The lingering Covid-19 did not improve her situation either.

It is sad to see another family member go, especially someone you have cherished but somehow neglected. Hope Kumsil will have a better and easier time in heaven. One needs lust for life to survive on this planet.

A Slow Return Trip to Beijing

My brother finally arrived at his Beijing apartment, after two weeks' COVID tests, hotel quarantines, and many changes in modes of transportation, regulations, and time. As a determined and cheerful man, he is not so easily deterred by difficulties or obstacles. But this trip to United States has taken its toll on him.

To join his daughter's Stanford commencements for BS and Masters degrees on June 12th , and his son's wedding celebration on July 3rd, my brother jumped on a train from Beijing to Shanghai on June 9th, as there was no direct flight to the States from the capital city. On the same day (because of the time difference across the Pacific), he was picked up by Paul at San Francisco Airport (SFO), and stayed with us in Santa Cruz overnight. His wife, daughter and a neighbor joined him the very next day to get ready for the graduation over the hill. After a few days' sightseeing in the vicinity of the Bay Area, he and his family returned to their New York home. Things went smoothly without too many delays, or mishaps.

On the Fourth of July, he flew back to California. According to China's stringent COVID regulations, he would need a COVID test within 24 hours' of boarding the flight, from where he had landed, i.e., SFO, so as to obtain a green QR code to be eligible for flying. As the regulations underwent a new revision right before his departure, he had to do two tests, both 48 and 24 hours prior to flight. To comply with the newly announced rule, he changed his early flight to a late one.

As soon as two tests were completed, my brother submitted the required forms, and uploaded his negative results to the designated authorities, but the green QR code was slow in coming. Through the nick-of-time intervention on the part of his secretary, he obtained the much-needed green code, barely hours before his flight to Shanghai. It turns out that a wrong date on his form for the first test was the culprit of his pending status. 

Once in Shanghai on July 7th, he was quarantined in a hotel for seven days, without being able to step out his room door. On the seventh day, he was informed that he had to quarantine for another three days, because a COVID case was detected nearby. Confined and restricted for a week, my brother did not lose his mind, but resorted to resourcefulness. Seeing reasoning fail, he called a municipal hotline. Thank goodness, the hotline listened by allowing him to continue the quarantine in our Shanghai home apartment. Because of the add-on quarantine, he had to cancel the flight to Beijing and book a train instead. He learned later that hotel guests who checked in at the same time with him had to stay for another week after their ten days' stay, because a new guest from Japan had tested positive, even though the former were all in their own rooms, and not anywhere near the newcomer.

On Monday the 18th,  my brother finally reached his apartment in Beijing, only to be told that the three-day quarantine was extended to a week, reflecting yet a new change in the rules.

What a return trip that took a fortnight's time from New York to Beijing by air, in the name of COVID zero cases! 

 

 

Stanford Commencement -- Why do We Need Tradition?

Around 10:00 am, yesterday morning, Paul, Leni and me set off together to go to Stanford University. Emily, our youngest niece, and my brother Ying's youngest child had invited us to attend her two commencements, one for a Bachelor degree in Mathematical Computing, and the other, a Master in Computer Science.

Leni was especially excited to be reacquainted with her new aunt. Five years ago, she met Emily who had just flown in with her parents to start at Stanford. Today, 7-year-old Leni finished her first grade, while her aunt Emily was ready for her new chapter at Microsoft. To add more excitement, she was going to see again her other aunt Stephanie who she had also met five years before at the same family lunch in San Mateo. She could hardly contain herself.

It is our second commencement this year. On May 18, we went to Stephanie's doctorial commencement at Berkeley. We skipped the campus wide commencement for all graduates, considering that two events combined might be too lengthy for Leni to endure. We opted for Emily's departmental commencement.at 12:30 p.m. At the reception, we were regrouped with Nick, Stephanie, and finally the honoree's entourage consisting of her parents and fiancé Justine.  

Like last time, eight of us occupied a row of chairs. Even though there was only one commencement speaker, at a much smaller scale with less graduates, the tradition remained comfortably the same, namely, once the speech was over, graduates would be lined in a queue, ready to be called on to the platform to receive their symbolic diplomas, or to be crowned after a brief introduction about their majors and future plans. The whole duration would not exceed two hours, whether it were 300 graduates last time at Berkeley or 100 graduates this time. Again, we all cheered when Emily's name was announced. Of course, the loudest cheer was from Leni who even did an encore. 

Once the commencement was over, we sauntered toward the Stanford Quad, and Paul did a tense photo session there for Emily and her guests, for everyone's energy and patience were running low after long sittings, especially for little Leni whose eyes were all glazed with too much excitement and rich food. Unlike public institutions with tight purse strings such as Berkeley, Stanford was oozed with wealth, with receptions held everywhere in and outside the roomy Quad. You could literally pick any food from any booth you would fancy, reminding me of Ying's doctorial reception in 1990, with only four of us attending, Hui, Baolin, 3-year-old Wendy and I. "There is something ritualistically familiar about commencements," commented Ying, as if he had sensed my thinking, "It is boring and lengthy, but people still love to hold on to the tradition." Very true, this is why tradition can exist and live on by honoring achievers, their families and teachers, and by showing the next generation how it is done.

In a pre-selected restaurant with Shanghai flavor, nine of us were treated by the honoree's parents. Everyone was happy and light-hearted that the commencement was a resounding success. The most philosophic and profound speaker was Leni who was reminiscent of her late grandfather Ray, hardworking mom and loving brother Paul. The plentiful dinner was topped with Stephanie's rum cake that celebrated the successful college life of her generation for the time being.  

Berkeley May Celebrations

In the morning of May 18, 2022, Paul, Nick of Pleasanton, Emily of Stanford and I gathered at 1418 Josephine Street, Berkeley to drive to Hearst Greek Theatre to attend the 53rd Engineering Doctoral Commencement. My sister's youngest daughter Stephanie and her fiancé Tyler both graduated this year as Class of 2022. In a separate car were two graduates, and their parents Ruth, and Hui & Baolin.

This is the second Berkeley commencement Paul and I had been to. The first time was for Nick's Bachelor's ceremony in 2007. Then, we were joined by Lew, Ed, Fernando, Lee Anne, and their mutual friends. 

Opening Ceremony

Courtesy of Titangos Photography

At 9:00 am sharp, the commencement began with the live singing of the American anthem. After the introductory speech from the dean, there were two speakers, keynote speech by Ann Lee-Karlon, COO of Altos Lab, and student speaker Sally Winkler, Ph.D. 2020 BioE. It was quite refreshing to see that all platform speakers were women at Berkeley. There were more than 300 Ph.D. graduates from College of Engineering, covering three years 2020-2022. After over 300 nonstop crownings, and cheers from families and friends whenever their own graduates' names were announced, the commencement ended shortly after 11 a.m., as scheduled. It was a beautiful morning, sunny and breezy, especially when one could sit on the cool stone chairs.  

Tyler, Stephanie & Her Advisor

Courtesy of Titangos Photography

After the ceremony, we all repaired to the Campanile to have the reception prepared by the College of Engineering. The two honorees were busy introducing us to their advisors and schoolmates. Despite the mid-day sun with hundreds of people milling around, it was surprisingly pleasant and comforting under Sather Tower. Fortunately some things remain unchanged, with the familiar South Hall and Bancroft Library in view below us.

Nine of Us

Courtesy of Titangos Photography

It was a happy occasion to celebrate together our family's latest achievements, with great endeavors from the two hosts, their parents, and cousins Emily and Nick. Paul spared no efforts either, by taking more than 400 photos of the whole event (the edited version). In order to alleviate the stress of the hosts, he volunteered to pick up and drop off Stephanie's parents from and to the San Francisco Airport.

It was also a proud moment to congratulate our five youngsters and their significant others. Among them, there are three doctors, five masters, and more to come. Congratulations to you and your future generations. Please remember all the hard work and expectations of your grandparents. 

Congratulations and go bears! 

From Heavenly Bodies to Marine Mammals

The last two weeks have really been an enchanted time for Paul and me. Thanks to Paul's timely alert, we had two opportunities to view passes of the International Space Station (ISS). Standing right at the end of our driveway, we enjoyed the flyovers that were at 50°or higher on May 11 and 14. As our area was less foggy than our usual East Cliff viewing site, we could watch the proud ISS much longer and further, averaging 8 minutes or more each time.

Courtesy of https://svs.gsfc.nasa.gov/4979

On Monday night, May 16, we saw the long-predicted Blood Moon, a total lunar eclipse. When Paul called me outside, the moon was a total dark blood color. In over an hour, it was transformed from a sliver of shinning hues at the bottom to a full bright moon again. Paul lost no time adjusting his tripod and camera to photograph the process. He captured a series of pictures of the moon changing stages. The eclipse was so total that Nick called us from Pleasanton where he happened to be walking in his neighborhood. "It is so outlandishly amazing," he exclaimed. According to https://svs.gsfc.nasa.gov/4979, there will be a second total Lunar Eclipse on November 8, 2022.

Courtesy of https://www.livemint.com/

Owing perhaps to the mood of the blood moon, the ocean became a little uneasy too. Sunday afternoon, we went to the Point where the waves seemed higher and more urgent. Along Rockview Street, we saw a red SUV marked Marine Mammal Life Rescue on each side of the vehicle. Out of curiosity and concern, we lingered in the area and soon saw two workers carrying a cage with two poles towards the edge of a rock along the beach. A short while later, we saw a baby Harbor seal inside, looking forlorn. One worker told us that the baby had a gash under its neck, which might explain its abandonment. They did wait for some time, hoping to find its mother. We asked her if they were from San Francisco, since the telephone area code displayed on their vehicle was 415. As it turned out, they are stationed at Moss Landing.

Before leaving the seal and rescue workers, we were asked if we could propose a name for the baby seal. "How about Chippy," we ventured. It was readily recorded, in addition to another suggestion of Rock from a nearby spectator.

What an eventful and memorable fortnight in May!

    

See You Later, Leni

Leni spent her first spring break with us last week. It was still quite an experience for both Paul and me.

Prior to her arrival, both of us were a little nervous, even though she stayed with us for more than two weeks a few years ago. Now that she is seven years old, her needs must be changed. Would she feel uncontrollably homesick as before? Would it affect Paul's health? Would it be as tiring as last time?

On noon of April 2, Nick dropped off the car-sick Leni, and immediately turned around to go back to continue his work shift. All of a sudden, our quiet house became full and busy with the big Leni opening the two brand new boxes her mother had packed specially designed for her stay: Hatchimals and rock art. She quickly assembled the animals and then painted all 21 rocks. It was time for a snack, so went on the rest of the week.

Thanks to her diligent mother, speech therapist, and Papou's forewarnings, Leni is now able to express herself to outer world eloquently and accurately. Paul has been totally won over by her description of all shapes and their characteristics, such as triangles, pentagon and octagons. At the beach, she numerated many facts about kelp forests and sea animals residing there.

For the first time, the three of us visited Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History, Tuesday April 5. Leni not only recruited a girl visitor to accompany her, but pushed all the interactive buttons, and gently petted all the live sea creatures, such as muzzles, corals, anemones, and sea stars (no longer called starfish, as she corrected us). After nearly two hours, she was still insatiable until she climbed once more on the outdoor whale from head to tail. 

The temperature shot over 90 degree the next day. It was a beach day and we three went to Capitola Beach in front of the Venetian Hotel. Leni was ecstatic with the waves, sand and endless kelp. What is more, she got herself another playmate whose PE teacher mother volunteered to help watch over their safety with fierce vigilance.

Every morning after her math exercise, Leni and I would spend an hour at Chanticleer County Park, aka Leo's Haven. Whenever there was a Warrior's game, it was a bonding time for Paul and Leni on the couch, cheering and clapping. My crowning success was that Leni took to all three Wonderbooks rejected by my selection team. So much for the theory that children did not like them. 

By the following Saturday April 9, Leni became restless. She wanted to go home, and so she did with her Papa Nick. But she will be back for Boys & Girls Clubs of Santa Cruz in June. 

See you later, Leni.

There She Goes: 57-Chevy Panel Truck

This afternoon, Paul sent me two farewell photos of our 1957-Chevy Panel Truck that has been with Paul for more than four decades, and with me since 1989. Parked mostly on our driveway since 1998, she and Chippy were two constant fixtures, or rather, family members of our home. 

It is always emotional for any long-time family members to go. There is no exception with the '57-Chevy. Paul and I have shared many sweet memories with her, particularly in 1989 when I was at UC Santa Cruz. Energetically, Paul took me everywhere in it around Santa Cruz, Porter College, Santa Cruz Wharf, San Lorenzo Valley, etc. In the fall of '89, I got my first waitress job at ABC Restaurant in Scots Valley. Paul would drive and wait for me in the truck until late, sometime freezing in the rainy evening. I still remember the restaurant owner's unhappy face at the sight of the proud truck in the empty park lot. The job did not go anywhere, but got me the right experience for a job at Palo Alto's Jing Chuang Restaurant that helped me to save enough for the tuition of 1990.

The next six years, Paul and I were busy working and studying in Santa Cruz and Berkeley. So was the truck. If not driven, it quietly housed a homeless friend until he was housed with the help of local social services. The following decades saw the truck retired at first along the curb, and then on our driveway. As for our restoration plan, it disintegrated with our working full time, and lack of skills and equipment. Nick and his high-school friends had tried to slow down the rust by painting years ago, but even their paint has been gradually peeled off under the fierce sunlight. It is time to turn to professional car restorers! One of the them from the south answered Paul's Craigslist. He is now the new proud owner of our 1957-Chevy Panel Truck. We are happy both for him and the Chevy that is going to have a proper and well-deserved care. We will get a photo of its restored self, the new owner promised.       

My Nephew Is Married!

In December 3, 2021, Eric, my younger brother's son, happily married his girlfriend at West Hartford Town Hall, Connecticut. It is a truly joyful event for his immediate and extended families.

Conventionally speaking, it is not easy to raise a boy who has a harder time than his opposite sex, adjusting to social and physical expectations, just as the protagonist in The Autobiography of  Lincoln Steffens. It will be the hardest if one is talented, but born into a wrong minority family. 

What amazes me most is the importance of family in front of calamitous challenges. With a combination of traditional TLC, and modern medicine, my nephew, just as his cousin did a decade earlier, has managed to pull himself out of setbacks, and go on with life. By restarting his academic plan, Eric graduated from Pace University, earned a Masters at Columbia University, and was offered a job from The Hartford before his graduation. Now he is a serious employee half way through his requisite examinations, and a proud husband and owner of one hamster.

Congratulations, and go forward and onward, Eric and Jina!